2008 Woodie Awards
Interview With a Transsexual Within the Orthodox Jewish Community
Issue date: 10/3/08 Section: Features
The Observer: What was your experience with the Jewish community before, during and after the process of becoming a member of the opposite gender?
Yonina: As I mentioned, I have not yet fully transitioned. There are a few areas that are becoming different about me at the moment, but I am not yet out in the real world as a woman 24/7. I have gone out on many occasions as a woman, and will continue to do so in order to allow me to really live. I need the interaction and emotional connection of being a woman to keep myself sane. Being locked up in a way that keeps me living male while I know I am female is the root cause of much of my depression spells, and I get out of the ruts by going out as a woman. Living in a very large Jewish community (where many YU families happen to be), I know that my timing and places I go must be carefully selected and planned so as to minimize the risk of being seen and identified - not so much for me, but for my wife and children. I am not ready to put them through such scrutiny yet, but know that will be around the corner soon.
The Observer: How would you like/ have liked the Jewish community to have reacted to your new status? What could the Jewish community have done/ do to be more supportive?
Yonina: The Jewish community is very odd and divisive. As the old joke goes - put two Jews in one room, and you have three opinions, you can see how the Jewish community can be so crazy. There are those Rabbis that are so against the idea of "trans" that they will say anything they can in the negative about the individuals being faced with this condition. Then there are those Rabbis who are understanding, and know that it is not by choice that someone is trans, but are in need of transitioning and becoming a member of the opposite gender due to pikuach nefesh [danger to life] reasons. For those that don't understand, I only wish they can live one day in our bodies and let them really see what it is like having the condition and needing to make choices all the time as to how to stay alive. I don't think anyone really wants to kill themselves - they are driven to suicide because the society or the rules one is forced to live by don't fit that individual's needs. I know I value life too much to kill myself, but prior to beginning on hormones, I had too many thoughts of suicide and of committing other dangerous actions on my body that when I explained to my rav what my situation was, he told me transitioning was necessary for me!
Yonina: As I mentioned, I have not yet fully transitioned. There are a few areas that are becoming different about me at the moment, but I am not yet out in the real world as a woman 24/7. I have gone out on many occasions as a woman, and will continue to do so in order to allow me to really live. I need the interaction and emotional connection of being a woman to keep myself sane. Being locked up in a way that keeps me living male while I know I am female is the root cause of much of my depression spells, and I get out of the ruts by going out as a woman. Living in a very large Jewish community (where many YU families happen to be), I know that my timing and places I go must be carefully selected and planned so as to minimize the risk of being seen and identified - not so much for me, but for my wife and children. I am not ready to put them through such scrutiny yet, but know that will be around the corner soon.
The Observer: How would you like/ have liked the Jewish community to have reacted to your new status? What could the Jewish community have done/ do to be more supportive?
Yonina: The Jewish community is very odd and divisive. As the old joke goes - put two Jews in one room, and you have three opinions, you can see how the Jewish community can be so crazy. There are those Rabbis that are so against the idea of "trans" that they will say anything they can in the negative about the individuals being faced with this condition. Then there are those Rabbis who are understanding, and know that it is not by choice that someone is trans, but are in need of transitioning and becoming a member of the opposite gender due to pikuach nefesh [danger to life] reasons. For those that don't understand, I only wish they can live one day in our bodies and let them really see what it is like having the condition and needing to make choices all the time as to how to stay alive. I don't think anyone really wants to kill themselves - they are driven to suicide because the society or the rules one is forced to live by don't fit that individual's needs. I know I value life too much to kill myself, but prior to beginning on hormones, I had too many thoughts of suicide and of committing other dangerous actions on my body that when I explained to my rav what my situation was, he told me transitioning was necessary for me!
Viewing Comments 1 - 6 of 7
Adinah Nechama Deret
posted 10/04/08 @ 6:29 PM EST
If you can contact Yonina again.... Tell her that as long as she has a scrip from her doctor she can order her estradiol and medroxyprogestine from drugstore. (Continued…)
Raquel Amram
posted 10/07/08 @ 2:41 PM EST
B"H
I did not read the entire article but this is absurd. I'm disappointed in the newspaper's choice of article subjects. Instead of speaking about more meanwhile issues we are focusing on a transsexual's life story?! How can he call himself "still frum" if he is clearly going against Halacha. (Continued…)
Chana Wiznitzer
posted 10/07/08 @ 3:51 PM EST
Raquel,
I am surprised by your reaction. Last issue, you advocated for an approach focusing upon sensitivity to those who kiss on the cheek as a greeting, which breaks the rules of shomer negiah. (Continued…)
yael
posted 10/07/08 @ 4:25 PM EST
Raquel,
Hashem made all of us imperfect. We all struggle; we all have something on our plate to deal with. I know that I'm not alone when I feel like Hashem could have made me a much better person than I am right now, when I don't understand why hashem would have made me so flawed. (Continued…)
Raquel Amram
posted 10/10/08 @ 4:34 PM EST
Yael- you are right, we are all imperfect and the article did give insight into a person's struggle- but what his "solution"? to change into a woman. that is not a solution, that is an abomination and that is telling Hashem that He made us imperfect. (Continued…)
Ruven
posted 10/10/08 @ 5:48 PM EST
olivia,what a fantastic job you did on the series!
What great message of tolerance and compassion!
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